How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
