I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
