Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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