Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
