so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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