omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
