I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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