You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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