Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
