So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
