so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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