You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
