he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
