I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
