Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
