This is not my ceiling
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
