If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
