What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
