Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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