So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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