This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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