I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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