Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
