I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Bring me that man meat
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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