Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
