I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
