I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize