No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
