That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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