Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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