I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
