Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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