I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
