EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
