Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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