We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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