Swine flu. Run for my life!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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