kristin has been a bad kristin
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize