Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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