So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
