why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
