omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
