nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
