dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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