I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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