it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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