If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
we made out on top of his cat.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize