I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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