OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
