If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
