She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
