we're blogging at a bar
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
