home. puking in laundry basket.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
this is an emotional support booty call
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
