I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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