the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
