just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
tell me about the fingering
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