There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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