ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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