I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
