just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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