When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
50% drunk capacity currently
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
