We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
