I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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