i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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