ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
