what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize