after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
