I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
