Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.

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(347): View more from New York

we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy

(203): View more from Connecticut

go home

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'

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(304): View more from West Virginia

There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.

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(716): View more from New York

Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny

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(808): View more from Hawaii

it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof

(206): View more from Washington

nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?

(808): View more from Hawaii

try again roofio

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